"God, I thank you"-Sermon for Proper 25, Luke 18:9-14:
So, in the Season of Giving Thanks, our Fall Stewardship Program, I am always looking for good gratitude quotes for the weekly email and other communications, and I came across one lately that reminded me of my grandmother Carrie Lou who passed away about the time we were beginning the journey of planting St. Julian’s. The quote concerned the heart, the physical and spiritual heart, of the character Piglet from one of the “Winnie the Pooh” stories (by AA Milne). I am sure you recall, Piglet was a tiny, timid little thing and was Winnie the Pooh’s best friend. And, the quote reads, “Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” Even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude. And, why I think this quote made me think of Carrie Lou is that, though, spiritually speaking, she was a giant and superhero to me, she was actually a very small person, physically speaking. She was 4’ 11”…maybe…though she would never admit to being a hair under 5’, and her shoe size was a four and half. She had exquisite taste and, though never rich, she had very beautiful things that she appreciated and cared for well. After she died, I kept some of her shoes, two sets of immaculate high heels, that my daughters would play dress up with when they were little, and what I recall is my girls outgrowing them while still practically pre-school aged.
And, another reason I believe this quote reminded me of Carrie Lou is the role that gratitude played in her life in a very difficult season. I’ve mentioned this story before…but in her late 70’s, Carrie Lou was diagnosed with breast cancer, while at the same time being the chief care-giver for her sister-in-law and best friend, Nettie, who was at the end of her life. In addition, she was struggling to care for her son, my father Nathan, who was living with her and whose life had become the definition of unmanageable after years of struggling with addiction. She was a widow and my father an only child…and, though we tried to be of support, my brother and I, her only grandkids, were 20 somethings living in different cities just trying to keep ourselves in order. So, she was living through all of this basically alone. And, though at the time she wouldn’t really unburden herself to me…not wanting to lay that weight on her grandson’s shoulders…she would tell me some time later that this was among the darkest, loneliest and most physically, spiritually and emotionally exhausting times of her life. She was, to me, as I noted, a spiritual giant…a deeply devoted disciple of Jesus…and yet, she admitted to me that in that time she lost hope and, at least on some days, just wanted it all to be over.
Well, though also living in a different city, my mom and Carrie Lou remained close long after my parents’ divorce and, after hearing about Carrie Lou’s struggles, mailed her a little book about gratitude. And, the book encouraged keeping a gratitude journal…and so my grandmother did. Each day after she woke with a cup of black coffee in hand…my grandmother was a tried and true Southern Baptist and strict teetotaler…but she would drink coffee from sun up to sun down…so, again, each morning with coffee in hand…she would write…everything she could possibly think of she was grateful for. She would also tell me later two things that will never leave me. The first…that my brother and I were on the list every single day and that writing our names down made her feel very close and connected to us. And, the second…that her practice of gratitude, listing her blessings and giving thanks to God for them, in those dark and difficult days had literally saved her life. Like Piglet, she learned that though she had a very small heart…she was again a very small person…and I am sure that heart even felt squeezed into something smaller in those difficult days…it still could hold a rather large amount of gratitude.
Now, if there is one spiritual discipline that seems to sort of suffuse Brene Brown’s writings, which I have spent much time with over the years, it is the intentional act of practicing gratitude. And one of my favorite gratitude quotes of hers reads, “To become fully human means learning to turn my gratitude for being alive into some concrete common good. It means growing gentler toward human weakness. It means practicing forgiveness of my and everyone else's hourly failures to live up to divine standards. It means learning to forget myself on a regular basis in order to attend to the other selves in my vicinity….. It means receiving the human condition as blessing and not curse, in all its achingly frail and redemptive reality.” And, what I take from these words is that gratitude is much of the time other-ly focused. And, not in denial of self…or ignoring self…or demeaning self…but to find our self. For genuine gratitude and appreciation for each other is the seed bed of meaningful connection to God and each other. Thus, when we express our gratitude for each other, with or without words, we find ourselves in the eyes of the other, as that love and appreciation is reflected back to us. When our hearts are filled with gratitude for the life we get to live with each other…we just become more open, more hopeful, more gentle, more giving, more forgiving, more accepting…of others and of ourselves…in all of our achingly frail and redemptive reality.
And, friends, this is exactly what I believe Jesus is, at least in part, trying to share with us today in his short parable about one of his own religious leaders and a tax collector. As I am sure you recall, the self-righteousness of the religious leader is almost laughable it is so over the top. He begins his prayer, “God, I thank you”…that’s a good start…but unfortunately he continues, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.” The fact that these words are offered in the context of prayer and begin with “thank you” is beyond ironic. I mean this is the quintessential example of being “holier than thou”, of outsider/insider thinking, of judgmentalism at its very worst. But, friends, what is truly heartbreaking about this story…what I think Jesus is trying to point out to us is not just the differences between these two people…the self-righteous religious leader and the repentant tax collector…but their profound disconnection…the wall of abject separation that such self-righteousness has erected between two of God’s beloved people And, Jesus points to this at the very beginning of his parable when he notes, even before the religious leader begins his prayer, that he is standing alone…all by himself. You see, self-exultation is the opposite of genuine gratitude…while humility is the fruit of genuine gratitude. The first cuts off all possibility of connection…I don’t need you…because I’ve got everything I need right here. While the second cultivates connection…I need you…I need your love, forgiveness, support, kindness, everything you can offer me, because I cannot live…I cannot thrive without you…for life lived all alone…is no life at all.
I believe Jesus wants us not to stand alone…but side by side…heart to heart…praying, “I thank you God that I am just like your beloved child standing next to me…for we are both a beautiful and broken human always in need of and sustained by your grace alone. Thank you for filling my life with health to learn, serve and play with others. Thank you for the good work that I get to do that allows me to be fed and help feed others. Thank you for those who have picked me up when I have fallen and the gift of being able to return the favor. Thank you for your love that I get to receive and share with the people I am standing with in my heart and in my body right now.” Friends, that prayer of gratitude, that list of blessings leads to only one thing…a deep, overwhelming desire to tear down the walls that separate us…to deepen our bonds of affection…to climb any mountain…just to be together. And, whenever such love and appreciation is exchanged between humans, God is present and so pleased to dwell.
And, this is the purpose of the Season of Giving Thanks at St. Julian’s…to remember, like Piglet, that our own hearts, even when feeling small and squeezed by the suffering in our lives and wider world, can, indeed, hold a rather lot of gratitude. For such gratitude fuels, empowers our desire to seek and find life-giving connections with God and each other in this family of faith, as we stand and pray, not apart, but side by side…heart to heart. Such gratitude fuels, empowers our desire to gratefully give not just some of what we have and who we are…but all of it…not to just pay our bills…but to sustain our place of connection…our spiritual home…a home built not of bricks and mortar…but life-giving, joy-filling, meaning-making relationships…one with another. For whenever such love and appreciation is exchanged, God is present…and so pleased to dwell. Amen.