"The woman said"-Sermon for St. Julian's Feast, John 4:21-26
I recently rediscovered a poem that I wrote some years ago, on the occasion of Mother’s Day, for my wife Ashely and, of course, mother of our two daughters. I thought I might share it with you all on this Mother’s Day and the day we celebrate Mother Julian, our patron and the one for whom this family we share is named, as Mother is one of Julian’s traditional titles along with Saint. And, the poem reads:
Blood, sweat, tears
Heart/body sacrifices
A mother’s offering
Life-producing
Fairer sex be damned
Not only biology
Life-producing requires courage…courage
Which is all tangle-up in mothering
Now, Dr. Brene Brown, probably the most famous mother I have ever personally had lunch with, writes, “Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is ‘cor’ — the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant ‘To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.’ Over time, this definition has changed, and today, we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds. But in my opinion, this definition fails to recognize the inner strength and level of commitment required for us to actually speak honestly and openly about who we are and about our experiences — good and bad.” Dr. Brown concludes, “Speaking from our hearts is what I think of as ‘ordinary courage.’”
Now, though I would never dare to correct, of all people, Brene Brown…I might just humbly suggest that there is nothing ordinary, nor do I actually think that’s what she’s suggesting, but there is nothing ordinary about speaking from one’s heart. Instead, I believe speaking from one’s heart requires, at least much of the time, extra-ordinary courage. For, a heart laid bare is entirely subject to the slings and arrows of those who might take advantage of our vulnerability. Thus, the vulnerability to speak from one’s heart…to openly share from our hearts our hopes, dreams, fears, ideas, and experiences…the good and the bad…requires courage…indeed. However, such courage that empowers being authentically vulnerable before others, also, provides so much good…it is entirely worth it. For, as Brene Brown, also, writes, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy…empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope…accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”
Though I will never know or pretend to understand the sort of sacrifice, of heart and body, that is required of those giving birth, I do know that it is just the beginning of mothering. Thus, mothering is not only about birthing and not specific to gender. It is, instead, a character of heart that includes what I have sought to just describe…which is a sort of courage that looks like vulnerability…speaking and doing from one’s heart. To this end, our own St. Julian writes so adoringly of, “Our true mother, Jesus, he who is all love.” For Jesus, indeed, courageously and vulnerably spoke from his heart and willingly suffered for it.
Now, today, on Mother’s Day it is right and good to honor and express gratitude for the mother’s in our own lives, whether biological, adopted, by marriage, or those mothers we have collected, if you will, along the way. That is those people, as many among you are for me, who have entered our lives, perhaps even long after our births, and who have suffered for and alongside us, nurtured us, listened to us, celebrated us, fed us in body and soul, led us, and lifted us up. I am certainly giving thanks to God today for all the mothers in my own life, including, those at St. Julian’s. And, though, again, mothering is not specifically rooted in gender, and we affirm all gender expressions…as expressions of the beauty and complexity of God, in whose image, each and every one of us is created, we have used the occasion of Mother’s Day in this family of faith to give thanks, specifically, for all of the women in our church. And, I believe it is a right and good thing to use this occasion to give thanks, in particular, for the women in our family of faith and gratefully acknowledge the ways that they have mothered us…like our Mother Jesus…that is loved us into being…being more and more the individuals and community that God created us to be from our beginning…loved us into being better mother’s ourselves…that courageous character of heart…that looks like vulnerably speaking from one’s heart…vulnerably sharing from one’s life and experiences…the good and the bad…that then opens the door to love, belonging, joy, empathy, and creativity.
And, I think, as we honor and give thanks for the women in our church, that it is important to name that being a woman in our world today is just vulnerable. I was catching up with our bookkeeper and administrator, Kim White, recently and mentioned that Ashley and I, the weekend before, had attended a concert in Georgetown. And, she asked me where the concert venue was in Georgetown, and I said I really didn’t know. We took an Uber…and I really wasn’t paying much attention to where the driver was taking us. And, Kim vulnerably noted in response that that’s not her or her daughters’ experience when they Uber…especially alone. Instead, she said they pay complete attention to where they are going, even, attentively following the directions on the app as they travel along to be absolutely certain that they are being taken exactly where they intend to go. As, traveling in the car of an unknown person is a very vulnerable position to be in.
And, I was so grateful that she courageously shared with me, from her heart, her experience. For, even as a person who believes he is an advocate and ally for women’s equality and autonomy, I so often move through this world entirely blind and numb to the experiences of those people, including women, who live a much more vulnerable life than my own. And, I desperately need such reminders to wake up and pay attention. And, of course, I could name so many more unsettling statistics around abuse, harassment, bodily autonomy, inequitable compensation, imbalance in homemaking responsibilities, and unequal opportunities for leadership that exist in our society, including in the church, that starkly underline the vulnerable lives that so many women live…in each day. Which I share to remind us, especially those of us with some modicum of power and privilege, that the women we share a life with deserve our attention and good and Godly work to make all people, the rainbow-colored people of God, less vulnerable, including, in those spaces and places closest to us…our schools, work places, churches and homes.
And, I note the irony in the way that I am speaking about vulnerability. Like all words that carry great import the word vulnerability is nuanced. But, I do think there is a connection in both the positive and negative ways that I have used the word. Which is this: Ideally, all people must feel safe, that is not physically and emotionally vulnerable, to be authentically vulnerable…that is to be able to speak from their hearts…which is, again, the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, empathy and creativity. And, because women so often live a vulnerable life, I find their courage to be vulnerable…to speak from their hearts…utterly inspiring…that is, like them, they inspire me to courageously be vulnerable…to speak from my heart…especially when I get all tied up in my own insecurities and wrongheaded, cultural assumptions about what it means to be a man….rather than being like my own Mother Jesus…who, again, courageously spoke from his heart and willingly suffered for it…not for himself…but for others…always for others…for the life of the world…for you and for me. May such a courageous mothering love always be our intention and holy ambition.
When God inspired Ashley and me to choose Julian to be our Patron Saint, we did so, in part, because we wanted the church we were planting to be named for a woman because, just to begin with, there aren’t enough. And, more specifically, a courageous woman who spoke from her heart…who defying her deeply entrenched patriarchic world bravely and adoringly spoke of Jesus as a mother…whose love…and great willingness to suffer for that love on the cross…birthed eternal life into our world…an eternal life experienced even now, on this side of glory…in our very midst…a life shared together that really looks like love, belonging, joy, empathy and creativity.
And, our journey together to become a family of faith that inhabits those very attributes is a journey and not a destination…meaning we, at St. Julian’s, are a family of love, belonging, joy, empathy and creativity…and…and we are always working to be so, ever more completely. As the title of the book written by Tony, our own Theologian-in-Residence, suggests it is always a diagonal advance…and though the line that exists between who we are now and who we are becoming is never straight…that is it has its up and downs…I believe the life we share is always advancing upwards.
Thus, with God’s help and our Mother Jesus’ example, we are cultivating a community that is safe and that encourages being courageous…vulnerably speaking from our hearts…while, at the same time, always striving to be that very thing more and more…for the journey, indeed, continues. And, I believe, in large measure, this is true…this is actually happening among us…because of the courageous women of St. Julian’s whose own vulnerability shows us the way, as they…as you…follow your Mother Jesus…providing for us a mothering love that is willing to suffer and serve and feed body and soul and that leads us…such that love, belonging, joy, empathy and creativity might be birthed among us more and more…as we continue our diagonal advance together.
So, on all of our behalf, I want say thank you to all of our women…and girls…in this family of faith for the courage and vulnerability that you witness to among us…a powerful witness to the life Julian lived…and more so that our Mother Jesus lived. We are who we are today, in large measure, for you. And, though there are no words to adequately express my gratitude, I assure you my thanksgiving for you…is spoken from my heart. Amen.